After Love fades, mine has - Rose's thoughts
by DrarrySiren
Summary: Rose is more than a little miffed at Dimitri for telling her he doesn't love her. And it's collllld.


**Disclaimer: I don't own the original VA story or the characters, all the credit goes to the mastermind who wrote them, Richelle Mead!**

**ANNNND let the games begin!**

**Lol just kidding, I know you wanna know what happens to Rose and Dimitri!**

**Also... I changed a FEW things. Don't bite my head off!**

**Have fun :F**

**(YES, that's a fanged emoticon, don't you love it?!)**

RPOV

I ran from the church, too angry and confused and hurt to face anyone yet. Actually, if some poor soul did confront me, I do believe I would snap and absolutely ruin their poor pretty face. Unless it was Adrian's face, in that case the damage I would inflict might even cause an improvement. Not very likely, but you never know when it comes to sick, lying bastards like that. (SHALL BE EXPLAINED LATER)Karma can be a real bitch.

Pushing away all the side comments in my head (which were basically all insults or worries, poor me)I concentrated on what had just happened, trying to sort through the mess of swirling thoughts in my head. What I felt most at first was hopeless betrayal and loss. It was going to be unbearable to not love Dimitri, for him not to love me, for us to never be the same again...

But it was impossible, I realized as I was jogging up to the dorm entrance, for me to quit loving him. With that thought in mind, I sat down in the middle of the walkway with a stressed "Huff," and continued down my miserable trail of thoughts. It was impossible for me to stop loving him. Plain and simple. Dimitri was my everything. After all we had been through, I couldn't just forget, not with the memories that still brought tears to my eyes.

Meeting him in Portland, as I fought with all that I had left to not be taken back to St. Vladimir's where harm could come to Lissa. Helping him save her from Victor, all those training sessions held at the crack of freaking dusk to make up for the years I missed. How I would call him Comrade and he would call me Roza. It sent shivers up my spine, just thinking about all the things we did when no one was watching and we gave in to our feelings and he whispered my name in Russian. I couldn't possibly forget that night in the cabin, where we finally came together as one. Or the strigoi attack that happened moments later, I noted, grimacing. How he knew I was right when he turned around and faced those monsters, and he told me to run. Buria. The Russian word for storm. I'll never forget that either. I couldn't possibly forget waiting outside that cave for him and hearing the battle inside, knowing that I didn't have his back. I'll never forget the look on his face as the blond strigoi leaned closer, and I had to leave him behind.

Then came the memories distorted by his loss, my loss, the fact that he was... A strigoi. One of them.

Being kidnapped by Dimitri as a strigoi, in Russia, and waking up in that prison where he held me for days. Kissing Dimitri, holding Dimitri... Yet not Dimitri. A monster... A freaking bloodsucking, scheming, murdering, abomination of life. A devil, angel, god of effing passion... No. I remember thinking i couldn't think of him that way. But I did, even as a monster. Soul mates see through everything, nothing matters, they don't let anything stop each other from seeing and feeling everything... They are with each other always. We should be together always. We used to think and breathe and live as one!

Then hunting for a cure, and the fight in the warehouse. Fighting him and knowing that he wanted to kill me and I could never, ever win... And then Lissa drove the spirit stake through his heart. The spirit that came next...the power and light...it was exhilarating. And then Dimitri was Dimitri again but no one believed us, and Even then i thought everything might be perfect again. Idiot. He stopped talking. To me. Me. The love of his life. I don't give a crap about the guilt stuff; he should have been strong enough to get over it and accept that I was over it and move on!

Back to the church... I couldn't think about it anymore. Not now. I stopped reminiscing, chastised myself for not getting it the hell together already, and hoisted myself up off the ground. My ass was frozen over from the snow, so I stormed inside without a glance behind me to get dry.


End file.
